Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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