He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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