Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sober January is a disaster.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
