Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
