ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize