his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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