so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
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