Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
