If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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