oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
