I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
