So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
