Heybabeimwearingurpanties
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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