So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Your cock deserves a montage
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
