I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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