people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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