She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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