puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
