yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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