And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
