like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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