1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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