Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
