Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
