We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
