dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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