so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
as a side note pls kill me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
