then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
