So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
