I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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