Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
