Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
