I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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