I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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