What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
