this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
