Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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