found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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