I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
NoShamevember. You game?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
