last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
