found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
