What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize