Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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