Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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