Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
