dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
