our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
