I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
