So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
