Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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