Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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