I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
