you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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