I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize