I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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