There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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