No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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