Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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