So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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