"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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