they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
