In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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