Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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