Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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