bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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