We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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