its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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