I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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