brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
