You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
