all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
