Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
