she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
